SURPRISES!!

I love surprises. Well, I love MOST surprises. The surprises I am talking about today are the good kinds of surprises.

Last weekend, I was fortunate enough to spend time with my friends, Tina, Leslie, and Melvin. It has only been in the last year or so that I have been in touch with my childhoold friends. I am sorry I let time pass. I really love these people!

We talked frankly, laughed loudly, and listened eagerly to one another. It was a party at the restaurant. Our daily burdens were lifted, we were living in the moment, and we were being ourselves. What an awesome time!

It was interesting to relive some memories and to discover we were not the people the others thought we were. This is not totally a bad thing! It was fun to see the shock on one another's faces when we told stories of high school/college days, stories we agreed to not reveal! I love these friends; what a great evening!

I look forward to my next visit with the gang. We hope to include more friends and have a pool party and other such nonsense.

As my friend Dawn L said on one of my visits home, "There's no friend like a childhood friend."

I have other friends from other seasons in my life, but I agree, there is something special about those childhood friends and memories.

Still Waters

"The Lord is my shepherd, I shall not want. He makes me to lie down in green pasture; He leads me beside the still water. He restores my soul."

I could use some still waters and some restoration of my soul. It has been a long four months. Months of worry, lies, deception, anxiety.... I almost don't know who I am. I feel like everyone has had a piece of me and there is nothing left for me to renew.

How do I find my way back? How do I break out? Where do I begin?

I begin with those first few, precious words..."The Lord IS my shepherd. I shall not want."

HE is my shepherd. He is the one to whom I look to meet my needs. I don't need to want or desire any other cure. He is the one who will meet my needs so that I don't want. Isn't that the most excellent news?

It goes further...."He MAKES me to lie down in green pastures. He LEADS me beside the still waters."

He is going to give me rest from this; he is going to MAKE me lie down. I had better cooperate and lie down when he tells me. Bad things happen when you try to tell God how it is going to be.

He is going to lead me to still waters. He is going to deliver me from this. He knows the calm way out of these last few months, and he is going to lead me in that direction.

Trust Him to be my Shepherd.
Rest in the green pasture.
Follow to the still waters.

I'm ready, Lord. Let's go!

Gardening 2010

I started an herb garden this year. I love cooking with fresh herbs. Pasta dishes, vegetable dishes, meat and cheese dishes, sun tea...really anything benefits from adding fresh herbs.

I have planted rosemary, mint, cilantro, basil, thyme, tarragon, Italian parsley, regular parsley, and a couple of other miscellaneous herbs.

The children have taken on the task of keeping the herbs watered. Joshua and Grace are always snipping or tearing off a leaf of an herb here or there, trying to understand the levels of flavor. They both enjoy experimenting with the herbs when they cook in the kitchen.

There is something therapeutic about growing your own food. There is nothing as stress-relieving as running your hands through the soft, sun-warmed earth and planting a tiny seedling or group of seeds, standing back, and watching the Lord make the plant grow.

This year, besides the abundance of herbs, we currently have Charlie's blueberries coming in. Soon, Grace's sunflowers will open and we may be able to steal a few seeds before the birds pick them apart. John is working on a 300 pound pumpkin; no kidding. I'll post a picture if that really works out! We have enjoyed fresh lettuce, sugar snap peas, and onions from the garden. We hope to soon enjoy tomatoes and some zucchini.

The weather has been perfect for our inattention to the gardening duties. I feel blessed that we are able to reap so much from such little effort this year. What a blessing!

Eight Months Later....

Here it is eight months since my last posting. Something happened. Life got in the way. I allowed the business and the drama of life to squeeze out things that I love to do, the people I love to hang out with, and things that give me my identity. I started meeting everyone elses needs/wants/desires and left myself nothing. That is not the way to live.

After spiraling down that dark, winding road, I am back. Quite frankly, I am back, but not quite in the saddle again. It is going to take some time. However, I all ready feel so much better. My energy is returning, and I am enjoying life and not managing life so much.

Over the course of the last year or so, I have picked up a phrase from a local pastor. He often says this, "God is good all the time. All the time, God is good."

I believe what Tommy says. The last eight months have proven it again and again.

Living and Learning,
Beth

Precious Little Girl

Grace is growing up too fast, much too fast. She is 8 years old and is no longer small enough to sit on my lap. When she tries to sit on my lap, her feet nearly touch the floor. She is growing physically.

Grace is also growing in other ways, and as a mom of three boys first, I find it interesting and exciting to watch Grace grow up and find her place in the family. She definately brings her own special character to our family. She is full of rainbows and unicorns, sugar and spice, and life and love.

She anticipates "girl time" whether with me or my mother. She is either always wanting to do a craft, clean something, cook something, or decorate something. I enjoy that she wants to hang out with me.

I hope to treasure all of these things in my heart so that when she is off setting up a household of her own, I will remember these special days, these precious times with Grace. I love you, sweetheart!

Lessons from a Brownie Scout

I was only in Brownie Scouts for a couple of years, but I learned some good life lessons:

1. Give the best of yourself, and try not to be too disappointed when someone else isn't their best self. They, like you, are a work in progress, and though you think you have it all together, you really aren't in any better shape than the one not giving her best. Remember to be humble. (Lesson from the Christmas Party.)

2. Goal setting is important. You may be prevented from realizing those goals, but by setting those goals and working towards those goals, you have made yourself a better person. So you did the preparation for the race, but you were not allowed to run in the race? So what! You are in better physical shape than you would have been otherwise. Look for the best when you feel you have been dealt the worst. (Lesson from not moving on to girl scouts.)

3. When you make a mistake, own up. When someone has wronged you, speak up. When you hear gossip, shut up. Being honest and true in your communications may not be easy or feel very good sometimes, but those who are watching will remember that you owned up, spoke up, or shut up at the appropriate times. You do not need to parade your character nor worry about what someone else says about your character. You are the best source of your character. If others choose to listen to gossip, they will soon be convinced of your true colors as they observe you. (Lesson from our brownie overnight.)

4. Laugh, have fun, try something new, step outside your box, live a little, enjoy, and keep smiling. Life is short and is not to be governed by "shoulds" and "should nots". Life is too short to dwell on other's judgements of your being high on life. (Lesson from the Halloween Party)

I was only in Brownies a couple of years, but I remember those life lessons well. Funny I was thinking about those years today. Funny that I remember those years so clearly. Funny how those little experiences revealed big lessons.

Hugs and many thanks to my Brownie leaders!!!

Changes

"There have been so many changes in my life. It is a wonder I've not lost my mind."

No truer statement can be made of the last 6 months in my little world. My world went from something familiar, through a huge transition, and now is resting in an unfamiliar, but lovely, place. I can not think of an aspect of my life that hasn't undergone significant change in the last 6 months. Along the way, I have had many life lessons. Some of the lessons have been nice and sweet, but others have sucked the breath right out of my lungs. Through it all, there have been a handful of faithful ones standing near who have weathered the storm with me. Here is a taste of who they are and what they did:

1. No matter what is going on in my world, my children love me. They saw the difficult things going on, the heard and witnessed the wickedness we all saw, and they respected and loved me through it all. We all learned to hold our tongue and let our actions, not our words, bare witness to who we are. Actions speak louder than words, we told the children.

2. My husband watched some really not so nice things go on in my world and hung in there for the wild ride. He encouraged, supported, and helped in many practical ways the last 6 months. There are too many to count. He was an angel, and he loves me.

3. My mother, father, and Aunt Barbara are great support. They silently watched what was going on, and helped in practical ways...dinners, watching children. When I finally gave them a few details, they were extremely supportive and loving. I could not have healed from the scars others inflicted without their help.

4. My dear friends Robert and Debi have been god-sends. My family has embraced both of these friends, who both are currently in major crisis in their own lives, but both have loved and supported me the last 6 months, watching in pain as I was dealing with some not so nice things, and then listening for a while, and finally, rejoicing with me when the storms had passed. I hope I will always be as true to them as they were to me.

I think the worst of the storm is over. There is some clean up, some debris to put out at the curb, some flowers to replant, and some damage to repair. My life will never be the same again, and that's ok. It may even be more than OK. I know it will be wonderful!